The Fortress Group
Fencing

• Even ugly fencers get to score regularly.
• In fencing, you have a coach to tell you the proper ways.
• In fencing you get to practice before trying the real thing.
• You can fence with strangers with out getting a bad reputation, and you don't have to spend $30 at the bar to get to know them first.
• You are not being insulting if you insist your partner wear a mask in fencing.
• No one expects a fencing bout to last more than two minutes.
• In fencing you don't have to worry if your partner enjoyed it or not.
• In fencing you don't have to get your own equipment until you're sure you like it.
• You usually fence in a large, brightly lit room with lots of people.
• The person you fence with won't mind if your friends stand around and cheer you on.
• Whips are normal in fencing.

MORE OVER

• It doesn't hurt if someone steps on your foil.
• It is almost impossible to catch a disease from a foil.
• You can play with your foil in public and no one will laugh.
• If your foil gets bent, all you have to do is run it under your foot a few times.
• No one cares how long your foil is.
• If your foil breaks, you just go get another one.
• It is easy to get pretty girls to hold your foil.
• You don't have to remember anniversaries with your foil.
• Most significantly, in fencing, if your partner doesn't come, you win.

This came from some where. It's good, but I can't take the credit. Author?